3 years ago Jason and I went through a difficult time in our marriage. I had become a control freak about everything and all of it was born out of fear. Every move I made was fear based. I wasn't just a nagging wife, but a fearful, controlling and worried nagging wife. It wasn't a great combination and it is extremely humbling for me to even type these words out. Hello, world!
During that time we both had to do some serious soul searching and took steps to get healthy. Our marriage came out on top and God transformed us, but if I am being honest it took a lot of hard work and the realization that change started with me. If I wasn't secure in who God had called me to be, then it just didn't matter how healthy Jason got. No one can complete you. Only God can.
So, I started to get really serious about myself and I learned 2 things:
1. God is God and I am not. If I am truly going to trust God to do something then I have to let go and let him do it. I had to let go of every single expectation I had. I wrote in my journal one morning, "You are the creator of the heavens and the earth. You brought everything into being. You make all things new. I DO NOT." Taking matters into our own hands never gets us God sized results.
2. The power of prayer is transformative. I pray for my husband every day. I take it seriously and I believe that God has called us as wives to do it and that the power of our prayers move mountains. . I read Power of a Praying Wife (HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and prayed those prayers for Jason every single day for 30 days straight. He didn't even know I was praying. If there was something I wanted to change about him, I would instead just pray about it. 99.9% of the time it was not something God was worried about. It revealed to me that it was a hang up of mine that I needed to just get over. The things that God wanted to do, HE DID. They were huge and life changing. I shut up, prayed and loved my husband. When there were big things that I needed to share I did so with a soft heart. Not one that was filled with fear and bitterness.
I've been seeing this go around and thought it was such a great tool. Pray for your husband. Pray everyday. Pray out loud. Pray whether he knows it or not.
I know that so many of you (man or woman) have struggling marriages. You are fighting the same battle. You've given up. Some of you have just started out. You can start now. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.