Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I cry a lot. Surprise!

I'd like to say that I have it all together, but I don't. I am an emotional woman who cries over spilled milk. Sometimes that is actually the truth. Just last week I poured my uncooked spaghetti into my pan full of uncooked hamburger meat. And I cried.

True story.

Also, I cried last week when Reagan decided to flood one of the nursery rooms at church and then bite her sisters finger. I wish I had a picture of the her and Luke when we found them soaking wet, hiding under one of the foyer tables, but I think Jenn and I were in shock (and probably too mad to get all picture happy).  

I am just being honest here.  My poor husband. Sometimes he just doesn't know what to do with me.  Last week during Jackson's dress rehearsal for his Christmas musical I cried. He got on stage with some of his best friends in the world and I broke down seeing him in that adorable angel outfit.  Especially when he had his shining moment holding up the 9th commandment.

What is wrong with me? Well, nothing. I'm a woman who cries easily. Big deal.  But if I really AM being honest here...

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Actually,  for awhile now.  I've been doing a lot of reflecting. A lot of soul searching. Seems like that is something Jason and I are both doing a lot of. Trying to unlearn some things that have been a part of us our whole lives.  Maybe those things weren't all that bad, but when they are stuffed down for so long, they tend to just pop up in your face like an air bag going off in your car. It hurts. The great thing is that it's for my protection.  One thing I have realized is this...

It's okay that I am emotional.  It's not okay that I am letting my emotions control me.  And it's really not okay for me to let fear control my emotions.  Fear is not from God.   When it comes down to it, I have issues with fear.  Control? Lack of trust? Ouch....

So, here is to taking a deep breath, trusting and learning to let go.  Fear is the opposite of faith and there is no fear in love. God is love.

Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. Our God is higher than any other. 

More tomorrow on insecurity.  We might as well get it all out, right? ;-) 

1 comment:

Aaron + Breanna said...

Beautiful and honest post. You are such an amazing woman and I love you!